No One But Kira Gets To Decide Her Future or Limitations

Kira is the Lady in Red this week! I met this beautiful soul during an acting workshop last year and I’m beyond grateful we got to talking. Her story is one that gives me goosebumps. Let’s hear your story Kira. 🙂

Kira, what is your story?

“Wow, big question! To sum it up, I guess I would say I am a Complex PTSD Survivor who has had to work through and overcome a lot of deep-rooted emotional and spiritual trauma. That’s a story all in itself, but I will focus here on the more recent chapter.

Before Covid, I was a full time dance teacher and choreographer with a husband, a three year old and a newborn. Covid hit and my world went spiraling. By the end of 2020 I was no longer teaching and had started a new career as a real estate agent. It was a very challenging transition after being a dance teacher for over 18 years. Throughout 2021, I worked tirelessly to get my real estate career off the ground and ended up on one of the top teams in New Jersey – a massive thing to accomplish in less than a year. But I was miserable. By spring of 2022, my marriage was deteriorating rapidly, my body was constantly shaking, I wasn’t sleeping…and eventually I had a full nervous breakdown. I won’t go into the sordid details, but I will tell you, it wasn’t pretty.

On April 1, 2022, I made the decision to quit real estate (right when I was really starting to make a lot of sales!!) and entered a season of healing full time. Through that process I got diagnosed with Complex PTSD and, which is like PTSD, but instead of being caused by one big traumatic event, it is caused by years and years of living under emotional distress. Again- that’s a story for another time. I was also told I had clinical burnout and PTSD from the 15 months stuck in quarantine with two small kids followed by my intense 16 months in real estate.

The whole of 2022 from then on was dedicated to my healing. I did everything. Took a solo retreat by the sea, got a psychiatrist, a therapist, meds…the whole shebang. Unraveling all the damage from decades of my life was at the same time necessary and very heavy. By summer I realized that I needed more – I couldn’t shake my heavy depression and was struggling with suicidal thoughts – so I sought out a higher level of care. In September of 2022 I ended up going to intensive mental health treatment in Washington state for 6 weeks- and that 6 weeks changed my entire life.

Long story short- while at treatment I learned to love myself and listen to my heart. And I realized that I needed to take a massive leap of faith and pursue acting…the dream I had had in my heart since I was a little girl. As soon as I got home I started researching how to begin, and in January of 2023, I began pursuing acting full time. It has been the most incredible and life-giving 13 months of my life so far.”

Where can we find this intensive mental health treatment that changed your outlook on life?

“It is called “The Center: A Place of Hope” and is in Edmonds, WA. I cannot recommend them enough. It is technically a partial hospitalization program, but they provide FREE housing and meals. It is covered by insurance and is nothing short of life-changing.

If you or anyone you know is struggling to overcome mental health challenges, addictions, or eating disorders, please check out the website here: https://www.aplaceofhope.com/“

What was the switch for you during this treatment? Was it something your therapist said or did it just click within you, or maybe both?

“I think getting away from the responsibilities of being a mom and wife for 6 weeks and being surrounded by a team of therapists to guide me just allowed me the space and ability to really get in tune with my true self like I had never done before. One thing we did there was a long exercise to figure out what our “core values” were. It was over an hour of sifting through hundreds of words, asking ourselves questions, seeing what resonated with us, and at the end we ended up with three words that we recognized as our core values.

Mine were:
Creativity
Recognition
Peace

I can’t even describe the sensation of TRUTH that flooded my whole being when it came down to those three words. After that, I just really started digging into myself (with the guidance of therapists) and really realized I NEEDED to do something with my life that aligned with those words.

Then one day, we had a session where we watched some footage of celebrities being interviewed on talk shows. I don’t even remember why we were watching them or what the session was about, but what I do remember is having a very vivid premonition of me walking onto the stage of “The Tonight Show” and sitting down to be interviewed by Jimmy Fallon. It was so real. I started crying and I drew a little doodle of the mental image and wrote on it “Me and Jimmy Fallon, 2025”. That moment, as odd as it sounds, solidified my feeling that I needed to pursue acting.”

I loved how you said in your video, “This world does not care about our souls, we have to do it for ourselves.” Can you elaborate on that?

“I have done so much reading about trauma, etc, since the beginning of my healing journey. One of the most profound books I read was “The Myth of Normal” by Gabor Mate. The book basically does a deep dive into how the world and society as it is now goes against our human biology and physiology and shines a light on why there is such rampant depression and anxiety. Sadly, the way the world is set up right now (isolated families, 9-5 jobs, the school system…the list goes on) does not allow us to tap into our true selves. It forces us into systems and expectations that actually cause trauma to our bodies and souls. But we have the power to buck the system. We have to stand up for ourselves and say, “My soul matters. My dreams matter. The things that bring me joy matter…” and oddly enough, when we do that and live authentically as ourselves, we actually build new neural pathways in our brains, heal trauma, and slowly but surely, heal our society as well.”

After the intensive treatment, what were the first steps you took to get off the ground to start pursuing acting?

“I researched classes, talked to the people I know in “the biz”, registered for Backstage and Actors Access, got headshots, held my breath, and dove in!”

How did you go about telling your parents of your new career path even though they were once unaccepting to it? (Stated in Kira’s story via video)

“To be honest, a big part of my story is how I parted ways with my parents in 2021- even before my healing journey began. I realized that for the health of myself and my family, I needed to cut myself off from them.

I will say that since treatment, I have reached out to them a couple times. Now that I am healthier and able to hold my own boundaries, my hope is that they can still be a part of my life, even if it is a small part. But I had to heal a lot to get to this place. They know I’m acting. I sent them the vitamin commercial I starred in and they loved it – went out and bought the vitamins, lol. I thought that was very sweet.”

What is the biggest challenge you’ve had to face through this transitional period for you?

“Finances. For sure. Getting my husband on board with this whole thing was a big part of what I had to work through. He had just gotten used to the idea that I quit real estate (which was looking to be very lucrative), so to suddenly throw at him that not only was I not going back into real estate, I was actually going to throw myself full time into a career that for the time being was only going to COST us money and that held no promises of any financial return was a big pill for him to swallow. It was a very scary thing for me to tell him. We have a house and two kids to support. This was no small leap of faith. And all of the financial burden would land squarely on his shoulders.

In the past year, though, he has been my biggest supporter and fan. He sees as clearly as I do now that this is what I was meant to do. He has watched me come alive this past year like never before and he believes in my big dreams as much as I do. He says he “sees it and believes it’s going to happen”. It’s done wonders for my mental health and for our relationship. We have never been closer. Money is still tight but we are trusting in the path God has laid out before us and in the dream He has placed in my heart.”

What’s the biggest accomplishment you’ve felt during this transitional period for you?

“SO MANY! But biggest, I guess, would have to be really staying true to myself. Not letting all the outside pressures, peoples opinions or my own doubts and fears sway me from the path I am on.”

What advice do you have for other people that may be in a similar situation as you?

“Listen to your gut. Listen to your body. Listen to yourself. There is truth speaking to you constantly- you just need to take the time and care to listen. If you honor your body and your heart, you come alive. And when you come alive, the world gets to heal, too.”

Do you still dance and teach or is that an old chapter of your life that’s no longer present?

“I do not. It’s been a slow and painful letting go. Dance was a part of my life for 30 years. But every time I tried to hang on to it, I could feel it no longer fit into my soul. So no, I do not dance or teach anymore, but dance will always be a part of me.”

What’s your dream role?

“A powerful woman in the Star Wars universe.”

Who’s your favorite actor/actress and why?

“Florence Pugh. She can do no wrong in my eyes haha. She is both subtle and big. She can be heartbreaking and also hilarious. I love how real she is. My dream would be to work with her one day.”

Do you have a favorite book? (could be inspirational or a picture book from childhood, anything that stands out to you :))

“Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire”

We love a Harry Potter Fan!

What’s your favorite quote?

“No one but me gets to decide my future or limitations.” – Stephanie Hsu (another one of my favorite actresses!!)

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