15 Aftereffects of a Stroke

Introduction 

If you’ve heard the expression, “When it rains, it pours”? Well, that applies to all situations, especially having a stroke. “At least the worst part is over,” Oh, you have no idea, sister. Next comes depression, panic attacks, screaming and crying and so on. 

Here are 15 aftereffects of a stroke. And remember, every single person is different.

But first, What is a stroke? 

 There are two types of strokes:

1. Ischemic stroke(what I had): a blocked artery. Disrupting blood flow to the brain.

2. Hemorrhagic stroke: leaking or bursting of a blood vessel into the brain.

Both causes brain damage for life.

1. Recrudescence

Recrudescence is the recurrence of symptoms after a period of remission or quiescence. In my case, the right side of my body was paralyzed during my stroke so whenever I’m tired, the right side of my body feels a fraction of what it felt like during that time. It’s nothing more than having the right side lag a bit but it’s definitely an unpleasant feeling to have one side of your body feel completely different than the other.

2. Snow Vision

I’ve suffered from aura migraines since about 7th grade. This is what it looks like to have an aura: 

This flashing light goes on for about 20 minutes. During this time, I’m unable to see anything but this flash no matter if my eyes are open or closed. After it goes away, the headache sets in. I take celecoxib to help with it. If I don’t take this medicine less than 5 minutes after the aura starts, the headache is devastatingly painful. 

Story:

To give you an insight, the last time I didn’t take my medicine was a couple years ago. I was on a plane descending into Newark airport. An aura migraine started but my Tylenol was in the apartment above me. I took it immediately after landing but by that time it was far too late.

After getting onto the New Jersey Transit platform, waiting for the train to New York, the full headache set in. The pain was so excruciating I wanted to hit my head against the wall to break it open. I was going to die right there. I took 8 Tylenol.

The train pulled up at that minute. The next one wasn’t for another hour so I had to get on. Right before stepping onto the train I started throwing up. Everywhere.

All I could think at the time was 1. Mother trucker eff my head hurts. And 2. No way in heck was I going to die in New Jersey. I stepped onto the train as the doors were closing- still throwing up.  

The conductor yelled at me for a good ten minutes, probably thinking I was a hungover. After awhile, the Tylenol set in and the vomiting finally stopped. Well, until I got on the subway and someone pulled out cookies and cream hand sanitizer and, being sensitive to smells, I threw up again.

After that, I knew a head doctor was needed.

How does this story tie into Visual Snow?

I didn’t start getting visual snow right after my stroke. Usually I have a migraine once a month, but visual snow started after my 4th migraine in two weeks. The neurologist said visual impairments sometime happen after having brain damage and especially in people who get aura migraines. They also say I will have this for life.

The symptoms include 

• Seeing “snow” or “static” everywhere you look whether your eyes are open or closed. 
• Seeing objects trailing after the actual image is gone. This is called palinopsia.
• Being sensitive to light (photophobia).
• Having difficulties seeing at night (nyctalopia).
• Seeing images within your eye (entoptic phenomena), like when you see lights even when your eyes are closed.
• You can read more about Visual Snow Syndrome Here: https://www.visualsnowinitiative.org

Doctors still don’t know much about visual snow and there’s actually nothing to help it. I even went to an optometrist and they said everything looks healthy. Ugh. 

3. Anxiety Attacks

Anxiety attacks were never something I used to have before my strokes. Of course I’d get anxiety for things like any regular human being but after my stroke it got 10 times worse. For the first 3 months, I would have anxiety attacks almost every day. I’d lay down and cry for hours, thinking I was about to have another stroke. They started getting better though. Now, a year later, I only get them once and awhile.

Right after my stroke, I had so much anxiety that I threw away every single pair of tight pants I owned- thinking they would create blood clots in my legs. I even tore up all my tight socks for better circulation. It’s gotten better since then but I still don’t wear tight pants- which is harder since I’ve gained 10 pounds since my stroke and nothing fits me. :’)

4. Depression

!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!! (Talking about some serious depression)

My parents came to take care of me right after I got out of the hospital. They were there for my heart surgery and a couple days after, totaling about two weeks. After that is when the depression settled in. It’s normal to feel this way after a stroke. It’s a coping mechanism the brain does but I’d never struggled with depression so this hit me like a rock. 

I would stare at a wall for hours, not thinking about anything but the wall. If I was walking around, I would see myself dead everywhere. On the subway, the street, in the aisle of the grocery store, just laying there in my red coat. Empty eyes and sunken cheekbones. I had felt eternal loneliness for a long time. I still get this once and awhile but then I immediately start doing things to help me get my mind off of my awful ego:

Sunbathe

Read

Write

Paint

Sew

Talk to my parents 

Really anything to get my mind off of what my brain is trying to tell me: 

“You’re stupid.”

“No one wants you”

“This is your life now?”

“Why are you even here.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“No one would show up to your funeral.” 

Awful things that would creep up on me if I’d let them. 

It’s getting better every day. I am worth it. YOU are worth it. <3

5. Sensitive Head

This ties into anxiety quite a bit. Although my heart is patched up and am no longer prone to having a stroke, I’m constantly aware of my head. Too tight a ponytail? Hair down. Helmet during bike rides? Always. Safety first kids. Something hitting me in the head? Cries for 3 hours. This has not gotten better since my stroke… maybe some day I’ll be able to have a slicked back ponytail. 

6. Aspirin

After a stroke caused by a blood clot, the doctors have ordered me to take blood thinners every day for the rest of my life. It’s 81ml which isn’t much but honestly, that’s scary. We’re told by doctors not to take too much pain medicine because it might cause ulcers, however, they also say ulcers are better than having another stroke. You win some, you lose some.

Since this is a blood thinner, I bruise significantly more. Every bang or nudge from an object leaves me with a nasty purple green bruise. 

I’m looking for alternatives for aspirin so if anyone has anything leave comments below! 

7. Out of line EMOTIONAL 

I’ve always been an emotional kitty but since my stroke, consider it 10x worse. Anything that would remotely upset me feels like the end of the world. 

I was traveling with my friend and she wanted me to journal. She does it every day and loves it. At the time, I wanted to do anything BUT journal. “That’s stupid,” my brain said. She told me to do it and with a bad attitude I headed for the stupid thing. Grabbing it from my backpack, I spilled a cup of tea onto the floor. Immediately, I got so mad I could punch a wall. My anger wasn’t towards the tea though. It was directly towards my friend. If she wouldn’t have insisted for me to journal, the tea wouldn’t have spilled everywhere. Or that’s what I was thinking at the time. I headed downstairs in flames to cool down. 

Now, I journal everyday because of her and I could not be more grateful. This has helped me express my feelings and get them out without throwing a hissy fit. Irritability is at a MAX 24/7.

8. ADHD

I never used to have ADHD before my stroke. When I wanted to get something done, I could do it in a second if I put my mind to it. Now, everything takes much longer because my mind races at the speed of light 24/7. I have so many ideas about everything but if I don’t write them down right away, I’ll think about something else and lose what I was thinking about forever. It took me 3 weeks to write this because my brain kept popping up with new blog post ideas. I developed this also due to brain damage.

9. Substances

Alcohol

I’m a 25 year old woman, can I still drink alcohol? The doctors say it’s fine, but I’ve tried it. Feeling awful after one glass is not what I consider fun. Especially since I’m taking aspirin, my body just wants to throw it up. I’ll have a glass once and awhile to socialize but my drinking days are over. 

Coffee

I’m addicted to coffee. It’s a substance that truly feeds my soul. This being said, I can’t drink it anymore. It sets off my migraines and leaves me foggy. The recrudescence also heightens if I drink it. I never have a speech impediment until I drink coffee and then I can’t seem to get my words out. Since it’s my only addiction, I will drink it once and awhile if I don’t have to do ANYTHING that day. 

Cigarettes

I used to smoke them. I get why people do it but now after having a stroke: I will judge you to the core. Stop killing yourself, idiot. It hurts my heart even thinking about a cigarette. 

Weed

I never liked it before my stroke and will never try it again. Thank you. That’s all I’ve got to say about that. 

10. Body trauma 

I’ve had trauma in my body for a long time, considering I’ve torn my right ACL three times playing basketball. But now it’s so much worse. Every time I even think about something that could hurt my body, it reacts. Hard. Jumping on a trampoline? Visible wince. Tripping in my high heels? Hand clench. Being hit in the head by a golf ball? Body shakes. I’m currently trying to find a trauma therapist but every one in NYC is $300 for a one hour zoom session. BS if you ask me. Comment below if you have a better alternative!

11. Lights

I remember back in high school, I went with a group of friends to a haunted house. Lights were flashing and monsters were popping out before we even got inside. The staff let us know there were going to be strobe lights and one of my friends was hesitant. She had a stroke in the womb and I rolled my eyes, hoping she wouldn’t ruin everyone else’s fun because of it. At that time I knew nothing about strokes.

Now having a stroke, I don’t want to be a mile from a strobe light. Any sort of flashing lights have my blood pressure increasing and my head throbbing. I now, of course, feel bad for making my friend go into the haunted house. Maybe me having a stroke was my karma. Don’t fool the universe folks. It always comes back to bite you in the arse. 

12. Noise

People seem to always ask the question, “What kind of music do you listen to?” And I always say “the music of silence.” 

It’s not like I hate music, it’s just that I can’t think while I’m listening to it, which scares my brain. When I wake up, I can’t even have the fan on. I need complete and utter silence or I get so aggravated it ruins my whole day. My boyfriend got me noise canceling headphones and could not be happier. 

13. Tingles 

Laying on the floor during my stroke, right side paralyzed, I knew getting to my feet was impossible, but I kept on trying. As I did this, small tingles were happening in the middle of my spine. After the fourth or fifth attempt, I finally thought more damage was going to be done and stopped.

After my stroke I still feel those tingles a lot throughout the day, especially when I’m tired. It’s not only in my back but also in the rest of my body now.

14. Balance 

Since my stroke, my hand eye coordination is a bit off. I’ve actually had people ask me if I’m drunk. There is no way to respond other than, “No, I just have brain damage.” And then stick my tongue out at them. 

I tend to hit my head on the freezer door, trying to get something out of the fridge, the most. I will also be walking and, if I’m cutting a corner to a hallway, I’ll smash my shoulder into the wall. The other day I ran into a pole. Embarrassing, to say the least, but it’s a process. 

15. Thinking

After my stroke, the stroke neurologist told me that another coping mechanism the brain does is there will be no filter on my words. I’ve always been a people pleaser and try my hardest not to say things that make me feel stupid or insecure. Now, I say the first thing that pops up in my head. Ugh.

 I’ve learned that people who suffer from brain damage sometimes don’t care when they say something. “Your shirt is ugly.” “You have bad breath.” They just don’t care. 

I am the complete opposite, it seems. I’m not as bad as “you have a pimple on your face,” type, but I think (and care) way too much when I say something not meaningful. 

For example: 

I waitress as a survival job and had a table of 5 dudes about my age. They were obviously trying to flirt with me, so they were asking me 1000 questions. Then the question came up, “When did you graduate?”  My immediate response was, “High school? 2017.” Then one looked at his friends, all laughed, and said, “Um? No? College, the fuck?” I told them and they asked for the bill. Even though I have a loving, darling boyfriend, I was so embarrassed. I still think about that and absolutely cringe. It happened three months ago!! 

My brain truly can’t help going 100 miles an hour and telling myself how stupid things are.

We are getting better every day. Next stop: GET A THERAPIST.

Here is MY STORY of my stroke if you haven’t already read it!